Life lessons learnt whilst cooking in my mothers kitchen..

When I interviewed for my first real job, my soon to be boss asked me what I did to relieve stress in my life.

I simply said, “I cook!.” She smiled and asked me more about it. I explained I wasn’t that great at it, but that it felt good to have to focus on something else, to measure things specifically and sometimes get it right.

It turned out she understood perfectly. In her spare time, she made baked & made cakes, much for the same reason.

My cooking habits have waxed and waned over the years, but I return to them regularly. Partly because, I have to eat, but also because there is something calming about the process, and a lot of lessons to be learned too. Some of which apply to other areas of my life.

Here are some of the things that cooking has taught me over the years…

Follow instructions, but stray when you need to.

I almost always follow a recipe when I cook, mostly because I like to try new things. I don’t cook the same tried and true things over and over (more on that in a minute).

Some things require extreme precision — like baking for example. It’s about exact measurements in well measured quantities, but a lot of recipes can be modified. I tend to leave out the things I don’t like or change things because I don’t have an ingredient on hand — trying my best to not go completely rogue.

I still have my recipe framework. It’s structure with flexibility and I pretty much approach my whole life like that. I have a structure, but I bend when I need to.

I learnt this trick from the best. Inheriting recipes from my mom that have very little structure. Things like — adding enough sugar / salt / water etc until it looks right are never really the same all the time — you kind of have to free style (almost).

At first, you might find yourself having to call and ask what things are supposed to look or feel like. After a little while you’ll know for sure — and that’s part of the structure and part of the freedom. So, stay open minded because there’s no single way to cook rice…

Failure is an option and a learning experience.

Like many people, I have had many cooking failures. You find a great recipe and it says 45 minutes, but that means it’s overcooked in your oven, you learn and adjust.

And you get better at adjusting with experience and the right tools.

Life is the same way. Failure happens, but in life like in cooking, you have to learn from failure. Maybe take a chance to write it down. What happened? What could you do differently in a similar situation. Is there a way to recover in the moment? Take note and keep on learning.

Focus and flow.

Cooking often requires focus. Focusing creates a kind of flow. This allows you to focus on the task at hand.

I often play music while I cook, which helps with “being in the zone”. In that moment everything is blocked out. I try to create a similar experience at work. It’s harder, but when I can do it, it works well.

I focus on one thing at a time for a good chunk of time — an hour at a minimum, but often longer. It has the same effect of pushing non-essential things to the back burner allowing me to get more accomplished. It’s a much more relaxing way to work.

Creating something, even if it’s just for me.

Most of the time, I’m actually making food so that I can enjoy it myself — though everyone enjoys it from time to time.

Part of the enjoyment comes from creating something almost from nothing. It’s pretty cool. Sure, it’s great to have others enjoy what you make, but it’s also fulfilling to enjoy the process yourself.

Many of us work in environments where we feel like we don’t “make” anything. Knowledge work sometimes doesn’t feel very creative, but sometimes making a quick  dinner isn’t super creative either and yet, if you focus on the creative aspects of it, it can feel like a much bigger accomplishment — even if it’s just for you.